Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Church of the Agnostic

So, I am trying to convince Doug that we need to start our own church. All he needs is a podium and a a group of loose pocketed Devotees, both of which can be easily acquired on the Lower East Side after-hours.

The real problem, as I see it, is that Doug and I do not agree on the religion we should perpetuate. I think it should be an agnostic church and Doug thinks it should be a church in which all devotees are encouraged to believe what they want because who are we to insist they are wrong with no proof.

So scratch that, we both agree that it should be a church of the agnostic.

I think it will be a great success. We will meet on Tuesday nights as it is a slow television night anyway. And our sanctuary will boast those massage chairs that are usually found only nail salons with bored Asian ladies muttering what I can only assume are Korean obscenities as they diligently exfoliate rich American women's feet. (whether we will have the Asian ladies during the services is still in consideration)

We welcome narcotics and will feature a bar in the the corner with a frozen daiquiri machine.